October 27, 2009

WISHLIST MADNESS Crossposted from The GREED BLOG


Danish loser inspired me with his obediently sent MODCLOTH GC. We’ll see if modcloth has their heads up their butts like zappos did or if this will work well. If it does I’ll be making EVERYONE get modcloth GC’s until I feel outfitted enough.

My size is changing for the much smaller again, and so I’ll be needing things not to slide off my ass.

More MODCLOTH want items, each item is linked to its info – yum!


I’m utterly in love with the betsey johnson dress and the red gloves- totally not warm enough but it’s too early in the year to give a shit.

Get me greendot, or MODCLOTH gift certificates, so I can shop till YOU drop.

Sadly, Modcloth doesn’t do it for me much on bags, but I love the Uffizi.


God, I love this. My 1920′s fetish thrills to this dress, the color is Yum.

October 20, 2009

From the Archives – a classic post of mine – What She Wants

What She Wants

I don’t want a bad boy to treat me wrong and assert his individuality all over my carpet. I want a tractable, studious wimp. I want a shiny 250 pound robot and I want the remote. I want my own personal Jesus to nail up over my bed. I want a disciple to wash my feet. I want an unearthly girly man to be my lesbian twin. I want a sugardaddy to wipe my feet on, snuggle up to and manipulate like ABC gum. I want a supplicant. I want a guard dog. I want a pale and wan intellectual, begging me to make him do research and write paens to my beauty. I want to launch 10,000 ships…with my mind. I want to break 10,000 men…with my voice.

I want a corporation. I want a golden parachute. I want guilty, furtive, condemned and conflicted men of influence to come to me, whip carried in mouth.

I don’t want Marlon Brando in his heyday. I don’t want Clark Gable. I want an army. I want 65 clones of Vin Diesel down on bended knee in the hot sands of the thunderfucking drome all pointed in the same direction, all waiting for my command, all readied at my behest.

I want a six foot teddy bear with a massive erection, that I can just climb on and suck my thumb. I want to bury my face in his soft pink fur, and never ever worry a bit.

I want a real man who isn’t afraid to cry. I want a hopelessly horny, emasculated little pissant who isn’t afraid to beg. I want a man afraid of his masculinity. I want a man bound to his masculinity. I want a man who reviles his masculinity. I want a man who doesn’t know which of the three he is.

I want to hurt, humble, amuse myself, take no prisoners, leave no survivors, and I want it now. I want to want. I want to give myself a framed license that states “This document entitles Mira Stern to practise whatever the hell she pleases.”

I want to fuck you. No, I said that I wanted to fuck you. Get humble and get passive, bitch.

And what, what entitles me to such wonders? Why would I, just lil me, dare to dream and dare to demand? No credentials. No special reason. A decision to deserve. Starting now. A conscious choice, to reapply my lipstick, quit sobbing in my beer and be a grownup. Why most women never reach this conclusion is beyond my comprehension. Why most women never decide to deserve is the thing I will never understand.

Keep your bad boy, till he becomes an asshole and you have to kick him out.

Cry, buy beer, and repeat.

I’ll keep the good ones, the ones who bore you.

I will never get bored while having my way.

October 9, 2009

Humiliation ON THE CAPITAL LAWN – muthafuckas!

This is one of those things that materialized offhandedly. I’m not even sure exactly of the moment it went though my head, but it was one of those phone calls in the evening with Beltway Bitch, my most loyal and most trusted of piggies.

We were stuck on progressive politics and the stupid state of the world, as usually happens, and I think I was in the middle of saying “this Joe Wilson thing is just the most distracting pile of horseshit.”

Well, distracting pile of horseshit it may be. However, maybe it was the crisp fall air, maybe it was the gentle seasonal change in DC, but I had this vision.

The vision was of the lawn in front of the Capital. And on that lawn, there would be an asshole. A little asshole putting himself on display. It wouldn’t frighten the public, because – well let’s face it, ANYTHING can be agitprop if you put it on the capital lawn, just another weirdo making a point.

Why not? Why not another weirdo making a point, degrading himself AND making an ass of himself because The Debaser gets whatever she wants? And what she wants is a monkey so sublimely trained that it will publicly shame and whore itself in the most public, civic, open environments.

The angry left is a moneydomme. And she is coming for you.

I bet this made a few closet queer GOP sons of bitches hard, in the process. Sure, why not. Thank me on the phones, you degenerates, I know you wanted a piece of THIS. Mmmm mmm. (hairball)

The shirt is special – I made Beltway go and make it up at a mall kiosk with a live person working there. Apparently this person was a nice black girl whose brow was justifiably knit until it was explained that actually Beltway thinks Joe Wilson is a douche and that he was the one who was going to be wearing the shirt as an anti-Wilson gesture. Whereupon she started laughing and laughing and said “just make sure no one beats your ass up.” How awesome is that, bringing comedy and smiles to a woman I will never meet, using one stupid boomer bitch as my conduit?

Now, as pathetic and as lame as Beltway may be, he is a veritable LORD AND MASTER compared to the little pantywaist pussybitches who will never be more than a paycheck and a trembling little voice on the phone. THIS is what it would be like to serve me. THIS is the kind of thing you are expected to do – in a rote and unquestioning fashion. Debase yourself for me even on the lawn of the Nation’s Capital if I demand it.

It’s very easy to find a little asshole who will dance for me in panties on cam in his locked home office. Wow, that’s just SO pervy of you. Not. I simply get more, deserve more, and require more than whoever you are used to serving. I require your total humiliation in the civic sphere.

Let’s get an even better look at that shirt, it’s a winner!

Doesn’t that just make you want to give me a high five?