Cater to Me « totally abusive bitch

August 23, 2010

Well done, monkeys

Well done monkeys. This weekend of heavy leisure was brought to me by strokers like you. I LOVE the northwoods and I can’t get up there enough, if you know what’s good for you I’ll be going again this season, before the orange vests overtake the world up there and I have to duck drunken deer hunters – that means OCTOBER. I want 1K in spooger drunk dials, greendot codes, and cash beautiful cash.

Wait, cash?

Yes. Cash wrapped in stupid love letters may now be MAILED to:

Studio Stern LLC
PO Box 940
Germantown, MD 20875

Why? I have a LIFE unlike a lot of internet bitches who have time to scurry to the post office and back like your well trained hamster – IE: I have people who do this shit FOR me. Why not give my mail forwarding bitch a reason to continue to breathe? You can save a lowly idiot by mailing things, today.

August 12, 2010

Updates, shoe lore and more

So I’ve made some updates to my c4s, as Mark the money monkey came through on the pedicure. He paid a bundle for the clip, knowing that tons of average strokers would get it for less, and already he’s bought it AGAIN like 5 times. It’s too funny how compulsive a real shoe boy can get when the shoes are SO fabulous.

I have a gorgeous onyx and pewter manicure and onyx toes – the nail techs are mystified by anyone who’d go so dark in summer, but hello, there’s a reason I should give a shit what everyone else does?

There’ll be a hypno clip featuring the manicure – a literal representation of my elegant claws. I know you can’t wait. In the meantime, salve your desperation on these clips.

A final warning Once and once only I urge you to stop this madness, stop clicking, get out while you can. The problem is that I look so tantalizing, I sound so brilliant, and I paint a picture so seductive that you are sure to have trouble backing away – temptation and addiction are your lot in life.

Mark Custom / this little piggie Mark has already spend beaucoup on this, but he can buy it AGAIN with the rest of you! Additionally, there’s an infamous game of “this little piggie” something for foot boys, shoe boys and fans of being down at my feet for it’s POV perfection. Darling Poetic License heels with cherries – so chic.

Dangerous Mind How I make you helpless – a precise breakdown of why so many men become so incredibly weak for me – what my allure is and why you NEED to see this clip and why you NEED me

October 3, 2009

GREED BLOG – MY fall fashion wishlist

In the things I want universe - These decadent retro ensembles are SO ME – and you of course are going to make my dreams come true.

MANHATTAN SUIT BY STOP STARING
I WANT THIS. Priority. Majorly. The ultimate hostile corporate takeover suit, but fucking retro WANT. NOW.
BUY THE GIFT CERTIFICATE, SEND TO heartlessfemme@gmail.com

Second Priority is this stunner in red
LOVE SPELL W LACE by STOP STARING
BUY THE GIFT CERTIFICATE, SEND TO heartlessfemme@gmail.com

This red and black beauty with high waist STOP STARING VAMP DRESS
BUY THE GIFT CERTIFICATE, SEND TO heartlessfemme@gmail.com

this leopard trim number in red almost seems wearable on a cold day even STOP STARING BLONDIE DRESS
BUY THE GIFT CERTIFICATE, SEND TO heartlessfemme@gmail.com

I want this for my warm weather trip STOP STARING NAOMI DRESS
BUY THE GIFT CERTIFICATE, SEND TO heartlessfemme@gmail.com

PARIS DRESS FROM STOP STARING
Definite want
BUY THE GIFT CERTIFICATE, SEND TO heartlessfemme@gmail.com
30′s BOMBSHELL FROM STOP STARING

September 25, 2009

WORSHIP ME

SPOILING ME = YOUR DESTINY

I’m a haughty, spoiled, totally abusive and self-absorbed bitch. That’s why you fucking LOVE me.

So point your LOVE the only direction it belongs. Shower me in luxury, prezzies, every little thing I want. NOW – you dribbling douchebag.

The following are acceptable to start. DO NOT send me VS or Fredericks, puke. Save that for some trailer park cam ho or your pig wife. Do not send me some stinky 25 bucks I can’t actually shop with, retard. This isn’t rocket science.

Maybe you’ll recognize your weakness and addiction.

make GC’s to: M. STERN

EMAIL ADDRESS: spoilarealgoddess@gmail.com
that’s ALL you need to know about me to shower me with gifts.

The Little Flirt Lingerie E-Certificate

L’Occitane en Provence

The only bath and body good enough

Puimond corsetry

Morgana Femme Couture corsetry

Divine!

Neiman Marcus online gift certificates

Fluevogs

Blahniks Schmaniks.